Stress and Hope – Can They Co-exist?

It sure doesn’t feel that way.

The external stressors the past weeks that culminated in a major episode yesterday after breakfast – again, from external factors – have left me and my husband frazzled and our nerves frayed.

No sales for me for almost 2 years. Single income family since then, yet having to support an extra family member, also for 2 years, with an un-acknowledgd and undiagnosed mental illness. And then there are the bills that come like clockwork and the worldwide pandemic.

I’m sure we’re not the only one going through our share of suffering. However, the suffering of each person is unique and hope is present in some and not in others.

Yes, I am praying and hoping for all the suffering to end. I don’t want to wake up each morning the past 9 months or more saying, “another day…”, and saying it with dread. It is a very short prayer that has not received an answer. At least, none that I can connect or recall as an answer.

So, no, I don’t have an answer. I’m still in the midst of it. Sometimes the hope comes after that first dreadful prayer, perhaps some time in the middle of the day, and sometimes it is sustained.

Today, yesterday, tomorrow – we just need to keep moving on, with or without hope.

 

Covid-19 Quarantine and Mental Illness

Much has been written about this devastating and widespread virus that has claimed the lives of thousands and has caused severe economic down turns on a global scale.

And then there are the effects of the physical quarantine on millions of people  – both positive and negative – that have literally changed lives, perhaps permanently.

For those suffering from mental illness in its various forms and degrees, from one end of the spectrum to the other, the quarantine’s effect can be a totally different entity altogether.

I cannot speak for anyone else but myself. Each individual and each case is unique. I can’t stress this enough, so it is not wise nor fair to compare.

Being an introverted person with, what I would like to think, many creative talents, this extended home stay has been an advantage. I relish the unhurried pace. I enjoy the fact that I don’t have a deadline (other than the one I impose upon myself) and can work on creative projects to the minutest detail. It is a relief for me to not have to face many people in my line of work. Somehow, the ZOOM meetings are not as tedious, though they were stressful for me to use at first.

Having Bi-polar 2 Disorder is a challenge, especially when “week 3” of quarantine began. The “vacation” was over. What’s next? This is what the “mania” side of the disorder asked.

My medications and a very supportive husband have allowed me to be functional 80% of the time, even at home. However, it is important to differentiate between being able to function 80% of the time and functioning at only, say, 30% of “myself”.

By the 4th week, depression hit. This was the “30%”. When the depression side of Bi-polar 2 hits, it hits hard. The simplest tasks are even too difficult to think about, much less do, and sometimes overwhelming guilt exacerbates it. It has been almost 2 weeks now, with many days of severe depression.

At this time of quarantine, the guilt somehow increases tenfold because of all the thoughts that compete for attention – both the depressive and manic sides.

“I should be able to manage my time better. I should be able to accomplish more because I have more time to focus. I should be able to finish many projects by the time this quarantine is lifted. I should be less stressed out and depressed since I don’t have outside pressure from work. I should be looking for a better paying job after all this is over. I should not sleep too much even if my brain and body are exhausted.”

Well, my advice to myself would be…STOP!

Stop being so hard on myself that I end up back to square 1 – depression and guilt.

Stop blaming myself.

Stop expecting too much from myself. My productivity is reduced because of my condition, and I need to accept that, no matter how long it takes.

Stop berating myself for wanting the TV on so that my rushing thoughts focus on less stressful things, like dream home renovations.

Stop feeling guilty for wanting – needing – more rest.

For those of us who also suffer from “rushing thoughts’, rest for the mind is a must. And sleep is the only complete rest for this. If I need more sleep, especially when I am medicated, then I need to sleep. My body and mind need it. I’ll be all the better for it once I’ve had enough rest.

And this quarantine time is a good time to rest when necessary. Don’t feel guilty.

I do not know how long I would need to stay home. I don’t know when I will finally be able to walk outside and just enjoy the flowers blooming in this city I live in. I don’t know how much time our beloved senior dog will have left as she suffers from Acute Renal Failure. There are so many unknowns. And my brain is causing my head to physically ache almost everyday.

I don’t need to know them all. I can only take so much without breaking down completely. I can only wait, rest, do whatever activity I can, trust, hope, and stay in touch with family and friends.

For those of us who suffer from mental illness, especially during this lockdown in many parts of the world, let’s get all the support we need wherever we can. The safest way is online, via social media.

Get in touch with family, friends, or friends of friends through Facebook or any social media platform you may have. Reach out to someone you think you can trust. Stigma or not, your mental health and well-being are important. Someone you trust. Remember, someone you trust.

May God sustain us all and heal our land.

 

Faith never makes sense…

In a few hours, hubby and I will be flying off to the US. While it is an exciting trip not just for us, but for four more friends who will be traveling with us, it is a trip that involves a lot of faith.

We are all going to the US as a church planting team. We will be attending a church planting conference and attending a series of meetings that will help equip us a church planters.

Faith is defined in the Bible as such: “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.” – Hebrews 11:1

Many will wonder why we are making this trip. There are many unknowns in a country that is currently going through a recession. As a team and as couples, we incurred a lot of expenses just to go through with this trip. But contrary to what most people will think, we are not going on a whim. We are going by faith.

Faith is probably one of the hardest truths to explain. It is a strong and deep conviction that happens inside our hearts that compels us to action and obedience to God, often times without regard for the possible consequences. And the only reason for this deliberate disregard of the possible consequences is faith in a God who will take care of these same “consequences”.

When God calls us to step out in faith, we do so with eyes wide open and focused on him alone. Once we look around at our situation and circumstances, we will falter and stumble in our walk just like Peter did when he took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink in the water (Matthew 14:30).

"Follow Me" by Spencer Williams

Did it make sense for Peter to walk on water when Jesus asked him to in Matthew 14: 28-30?

^“28‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’

²⁹‘Come,’ he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!'”

Just like Peter, our team prayed together and asked Jesus to reveal his calling to us to plant churches. He did and affirmed his call to each of us. In faith, we all believe that God convicted us to go and attend the conference and do the rest of the work he wants us to do for a month  in the US regardless of our present financial and other situations. And if we do sink, Jesus will always save us, just as he did Peter.

^“31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ – Matthew 14:31

Does it make sense? No, it doesn’t. But is it what God is telling us to do? Yes, we believe it is. My husband called it “being foolish for God.” Will he take care of all our worries and anxieties about this trip? Yes, he will — if we surrender them all to him. He promised his blessed peace in Philippians 4: 6-7;

^“6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Will he provide for all our needs? Yes, he will, and more.

No, we don’t have all the evidences to show people because God is revealing himself and his promises to us one step at a time. We are on a journey of faith and all will be revealed in God’s good time. And as we walk with him, we will declare his praises wherever he takes us.

Class Debate On Faith

INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.

He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL – POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.

But GOD didn’t.

How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

( Student is silent )

Professor : You can’t answer, can you ?

Let’s start again, Young Fella.

Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That’s right.

Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ?

And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student does not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?

All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

( Student has no answer )

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.

Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?

Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist.

What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn’t.

( The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,

a Little Heat or No Heat.

But we don’t have anything called Cold.

We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold.

Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.

We cannot Measure Cold.

Heat is Energy.

Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

( There is Pin – Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir.

Darkness is the Absence of Something…

You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn’t it?

In reality, Darkness isn’t.

If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.

You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.

You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought.

It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that

Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and

Cannot even prove that this Process is an On – Going Endeavor,

Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

( The Class is in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s Brain?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that

You have No Brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . .

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.

That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.

Thanks to BPY, you may check this link http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp to check the source of the above “conversation”.

Mission Impossible

It’s happening again. It’s the Christmas season (it lasts until the first week of January here in the Philippines); my husband is away on a trip while I try to distract myself from feeling lonely and helpless. From somewhere in the back of my mind, I observe that these times of isolation and solitude bring to fore the deepest thoughts and realizations. And this time is no different.

I went back to what I wrote at the start of the year to help me reflect on God and the lessons he has taught me in 365 days. It was not difficult to see that God has poured out on us, and on me specifically, some very huge and impossible (from a human being’s standpoint) challenges. And just a few weeks ago, the impossible literally stared me in the face. I was given a God-sized task and only three people to handle it, myself included.

Without going into all the details, God finally decided it was time to grant me the business I had been asking and preparing for since I graduated from college (I’m 37 years old, so it was a pretty long wait), and gave me my first major client – a 100-year old international travel and destination management group of 75 people, all coming to the Philippines from the Asia-pacific region, and all expecting to be served and given the best teambuilding activities in one day by little ole’ me and two others. I did not promote the business – the business literally came to me from the boss himself – God. He probably thought it was high time I got hands-on training!

The rest happened in a frenzied blur. Even as I shared the whole stressful yet exciting experience afterwards with my sister and some very good friends who prayed for us, I still remain in awe at how impossible the whole task was and how God took over from the very start and showed us who was in charge. After all, it had to be a God-sized challenge for God alone to handle.

After that experience, more impossibilities began pouring in, one after another. Prior to that, though, God reminded me of the many impossible dreams that he already granted to me and my family. My husband and I are facing a lot of impossible tasks, challenges and dreams this 2007. And my reply to all these is, bring them on! We have the almighty God on our side, and nothing is impossible with him. But there is one thing we need to do – we need to believe.

This truth literally jumped at me everywhere I turned the past few weeks and even today. Let me quote a couple of them:

“We have a God who delights in impossibilities.” – Andrew Murray (after I wrote an entry in my The Prayer of Jabez Journal)

“Our God specializes in working through normal people who believe in a supernormal God who will do His work through them.” – The Prayer of Jabez (also in my journal)

“The Christian life isn’t difficult – it is impossible. If don’t know that, we will try to do things ourselves. Faith is not necessary when we think we can do it ourselves. Faith comes along when we realize that we cannot do it on our own.” – Joseph Garlingen (which I found serendipitously just below my article in the Connections’ most recent issue)

After mulling over these, more affirmations followed through the movie The Polar Express. I know, I know, it’s a Christmas movie for kids, and I was probably even more skeptical than most simply because of Santa, the elves and the commercialism of it all. But I guess today was the best time for me to see it, on HBO, alone in the house as I ate my breakfast with tears streaming down my cheeks. Take away all the other symbols and characters and you will get to the heart and message of the movie.

Just when I was beginning to wonder if all the miracles really happened to me all these months (yes, the questions do come at your lowest moments) and if God will do more, this line from the little unbelieving boy who grew up rang loud and clear: “Now that I’m older, the bell (referring to the lone bell that fell from Santa’s reindeer which he gave to this boy for Christmas) still rings for me as for all who truly believe.”

Does the bell of faith still ring loud in the ears of our hearts? When did we all grow up and stop believing? When did we stop having that child-like trust in our Father? With our God being the God of the impossible, we need to keep believing and trusting in him. If faith can only move a molehill, then it is not faith at all. We need to have God-sized tasks and mountain-sized faith for God to step in and do the impossible.

The Word of God is rife with faith lessons and reminders. “We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7); “The righteous will live by faith.” (Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11); “According to your faith will it be done to you.” (Matthew 9:29); “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1); “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6) – All quoted from the NIV.

How does our faith measure up? Do we still insist on seeing before believing? Do we only dream small dreams and pray for what we can achieve on our own? When all things look hopeless and negative circumstances surround us, does the loud peal of faith become a faint chime? Have we lost sight of God’s greatness and awesome power?

Let us ask God for the manifestation of his awesome power in our lives and the faith to believe that it is. Battle-scarred and soul-weary, we Christian soldiers need to be reminded of who’s in charge and who has already won the battle for us, Jesus Christ. Let us start believing again in the impossible and continue living with Everest-sized faith in Him who started it all and will finish it all. Have a blessed New Year.

My Purpose – A Lifelong Journey of Faith

One of the more frightening experiences for me years back was when I was asked a question that directly and unmercifully confronted my beliefs, ideals and the very reason for my existence. But even more daunting was, I did not have the answer to it! A very fundamental challenge was thrown at me and I was completely unprepared to tackle it. Worse, I felt like the whole world was watching when I dodged the challenge! What humiliation I felt! It was all about pride and the fear of being placed in a very tight spot where there seemed to be no escape. And as a human being, I was not an exception to either one.

When asked a few years ago what my purpose in this life was, I thought very long and hard, mentally reviewed all the sermons I heard in my lifetime (and maybe even came up with something quite witty), and tried to recall some well-known and oft quoted Bible verse that somehow explained the whole concept in just a sentence or two. Surely there was a quick answer to this one, or so I thought. It was a simple enough question and a “true and faithful” Christian would certainly know the answer. Well, I didn’t. The Bible, too, would surely have the answer and all I needed to do was pray, flip the pages, keep my fingers crossed (if my fingers were still up to the task) then miraculously end up with THE page that would have the answer I seek. Well, this never happened either. The question of purpose was not one that popped up frequently in my daily conversations and it was certainly not something I intentionally thought about then, much less pondered upon, until fairly recently.

In this world of fast food, express counters and instant noodles, I sometimes cannot help but desire some quick and easy answers to some really tough and painful life questions. My journey as a Christian has been, and still is, full of challenges and not a few heartaches scattered here and there. While I would never exchange my life in Christ with any other, I would have to admit that there were many times when I felt like giving up the fight. These were the times when I saw no light at the end of a very long tunnel, no pot of gold at the end of what seemed like an endless rainbow, and no God beyond the vast sea of clouds. These were the times when I fervently desired and sought the “quick and easy” solutions to my problems. And these were the times when I began to ask myself what my purpose in this life was, but was too afraid to seek the answers.

Before all these, however, I experienced much happiness and peace growing up. I grew up in a God-fearing home where many prayers were said before meals and at bedtime, and good values were taught and lived. My mother was a faithful Christian who loved the Lord with all her heart and devoted the latter part of her life to serving him full-time. My father was a good man and strove to be the best provider he could be. And my sister continues to be a faithful servant of the Lord in another part of the world. The Bible was very much a part of our lives growing up and stories of David slaying the giant and Noah building the ark to “save all the animals” were favorite bedtime stories. With this relatively “spiritual” background, I learned how to pray early on and learned some things about Jesus’ life and love for all of mankind.

I had led a relatively secure and “hassle-free” life, with the very painful exceptions of my father and mother passing away several years ago, and my only sister having to leave the country to be with the man she married. God has been gracious to me. He has allowed me to experience wonderful relationships and build good memories despite the great loss. And not so long ago, he gave me a very loving husband who is now a pastor and who faithfully serves Him. The Lord has also allowed me to be part of a very fulfilling ministry and to belong to a community of believers who truly love and serve God. I can easily recall more joyful moments than sad. But most of all, God has allowed me to experience Him, his grace, mercy and unconditional love, even at a very young age.

But looking back now, those happy experiences were there to prepare me for some of the pains of life that were yet ahead of me. After all, a Christian’s life is one that experiences Christ’s pain and suffering on the one hand, and his joy and peace on the other. And as I reflected on all these experiences, some important realizations and life lessons came to mind.

Some of the important lessons I learned were that if I wanted to know who I really was and what my real purpose in life was in the light of God’s word, then I would need to look long and hard at myself. I would have to be completely open and honest with myself, even if it meant having to be confronted by some very unpleasant facts. I would have to accept all my faults and weaknesses, and surrender them to God for his forgiveness and redemption. With these in mind, I realized that there was one thing that seemed to cripple me and hold me back from truly experiencing all the joys in life that were there for the taking; from entering all the doors of opportunity held open for me, and from giving all I had to my family, friends, and to the one I called my God. It was fear.

Fear paralyzed me and claimed everything that I felt was “rightfully” mine. I was always one step short of reaching my goal, of claiming this prize, or of achieving that award. I was too afraid of failing and of getting hurt that I just could not let go. I always seemed to tell myself that things were sometimes too good to be true and that something has got to give. It came to a point where I doubted God and his faithfulness and questioned his good intentions and purpose for me. If God wanted me to be happy, if he desired that his children have life and have it abundantly, then why did he take away everything that really mattered to me – my family, my job, and my sense of security – and allow me to experience so much pain that there seemed no point or purpose for living? I did not ask for riches. I did not desire to conquer the huge corporate world and be the big boss. But I obeyed him the best way I could, faithfully prayed and studied his word, actively served in church, and tried to love and forgive others. Is this not what true Christianity teaches? Was I not living it? Was this not my purpose in life? Why did God and those I loved the most abandon me? Why was I always so afraid?

As I struggled with these thoughts and with the pain for many years, God brought me to a place of isolation. It was just the two of us, “face to face”, with all our cards laid out on the table. He placed all my doubts and fears right in front of me and gently but firmly told me to confront them. One by one, my doubts crumbled before me. My fears chided me but were erased with such power that the slate was wiped clean. I was left with no defences before my God and my fearful heart was laid bare before him. God’s overwhelming love washed over me and cleansed me, and my life is now forever changed. He asked nothing but my total surrender. He sought nothing but my love in return for his. After all, he gave his one and only Son to die for me. His words rang loud and clear: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out all fear…”[1] God’s perfect love truly cast out my fears. They are not all completely gone, but my God is completely faithful.

And so my journey of faith with the Lord drastically changed course – and it deepened. It had begun many years before but it was only beginning to deepen in so many ways. God showed me that my life was not all about me. It was not about my dreams, ambitions and desires in life. Yes, God desired everything that was good for me, but our definition of “what was good for me” differed in so many ways. Again, I was reminded of his words: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”[2] Had the Lord not stepped in many times in my life, I know I would be lost. Had he “given up on me” – as if his great love ever could – death would surely be my only destiny.

But God had other plans for me, plans that would bring me life and not death. The Almighty God had an almighty plan – and it included an insignificant ME! He states it clearly in his word: “God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.”[3] Just when I thought it would be impossible for God to change my wayward heart and messed up life, things began to change and the pieces of the puzzle began falling into their rightful places. God began taking away all my other sources of security and taught me to depend solely on HIM. Every job I ever held brought me more financial hardship than prosperity. It became a pattern in my life and it was almost tragic! My pride in my intellect, education and other academic and work accomplishments did not mean anything to the Almighty and all-knowing God! He did not need my resources and he certainly did not want anything I considered my own in order for him to do his miraculous work in me. And even more shocking to me, he did not want me to “succeed” in this world – not in the way I understood success to be. Instead, God wanted me to succeed in Him!

It was a long and bittersweet experience as God lovingly but surely took away everything that hindered me from surrendering my whole life to him. He wanted ME – my whole life, my whole being – nothing more and nothing less. He showed me that he could and would provide for my daily needs, and even the desires of my heart according to his holy and perfect will. The Lord could do all these even without the security of a job that could eventually take me away from HIM and his purpose for me. He gave me a husband who is now my “family”, who would provide well for me, and who would dedicate his life to serving the Lord full-time. And God showed me that he wanted me to serve HIM as well, by loving and serving my husband and serving alongside him.

God has been truly gracious. Just when I thought that my sin would forever condemn me, HE forgave me and washed me clean. Oh, the joy I felt in my heart to be given a fresh start – a new lease on life! My heart wanted only to sing his praises and dwell in his house forever. Psalm 40:1-5 became a joyful reality in my life and the song in my heart:

“1I waited patiently for the Lord;

he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the Lord.

4 Blessed is the man

who makes the Lord his trust,

who does not look to the proud,

to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, O Lord my God,

are the wonders you have done.

The things you planned for us

no one can recount to you;

were I to speak and tell of them,

they would be too many to declare.”

Indeed, blessed is any person who makes the Lord his or her trust! God has shown me what his true blessings are. He has allowed me to experience his love and peace even in the onslaught of trials and tests. He has given me joy in pain, peace in suffering, and hope in darkness. He brought his praises to my lips when only tears would fall and I am now forever grateful to my God. My purpose for living had suddenly become clear – I was made to worship and praise the Lord! Even the angels praise the Lord day and night (Revelation 4:8-9)! In all things and in all circumstances, I must worship and praise him. I may be rich or poor, successful or not by the world’s standards, but I must still worship my Lord anyway – in any and all circumstances. This is now the prayer I say daily and hope to live by. The almighty and sovereign God is worthy of our praise (1 Chronicles 16:25). Anything less than this is simply not enough. If I call myself a Christian, then I must live by that great name and praise HIM who loved me and died for me.

I am now a new creation with a new purpose. By God’s grace, I am now “crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me”.[4] I no longer desire what the world can offer if it would mean my alienation from God and his people. While material wealth can and does help alleviate physical suffering, it no longer holds me captive to its worldly charms. I now look at it as a tool that God uses in the hands of his people – hopefully, for HIS holy use. I no longer define “success” as acquiring material wealth, achieving a high status in life, gaining recognition and accolades, or accomplishing MY goals in life.

God has also graciously taught me what true contentment really is. The phrase, “godliness with contentment is great gain”[5] is now very clear and real to me. It is a lesson God continues to impress upon me everyday. Waking up to a brand new day with my sweet and loving husband beside me, eating simple yet wonderful meals, looking out into our garden and watching God’s power at work in the things that breathe and grow – oh, what a delight it is to rest in the Lord! The world’s pleasures begin to fade as I reflect on His awesome creation before me. Now, I ask myself again, is this not what Christianity is all about? Am I not living out God’s purpose for me? Yes, now I can say that I am. But there is more to it than simply enjoying God’s blessings on my own, and God is merciful to once again bring me into another aspect of his purpose for me.

There is a world out there crying out to God for his mercy and saving grace. He has forgiven me, he has loved me so much, and he has given me so much more than I can ever deserve. And now God is telling me to love the world as he loves me! There is no excuse and I am not an exception. All the pain the Lord has allowed me to experience is but a small drop in a very large bucket of world suffering. Can I make a difference for God? Maybe not, but HE CAN make a difference through me! I may have to face big battles to follow him, but I have an even bigger God who will fight them for me! I need not be afraid anymore. The Lord has conquered my fears and he will more than make up for my weaknesses, for he has said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”[6]

I should now live my life as a conduit of God’s blessings to the world he so loves. God has commanded us to “…go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…”[7] If I desire to sincerely worship and praise God, and if I claim to love him, then I must obey him. The task is daunting, but it is more than achievable because God has already declared his victory in Christ. “Death has been swallowed up in victory”[8] and God “gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ”.[9]

As I worship and praise the Lord, I must also share his awesome love and saving grace to those around me. As God so loved the world, so must I also love the world and pray for the nations that have not yet heard of Jesus Christ and his gospel. I need to pray for and support all efforts toward preaching his gospel to the whole world. God expects nothing less of me and he continues to give me all I need to develop a heart that beats for the world. I can no longer bask in his love and enjoy being saved while the rest of the world groans in agony under the oppressive veil of the enemy.

God’s mission needs to accompany the purpose he has given me. And if I continue to surrender to his will and obey his command, he has promised to be with me always, “to the very end of the age”.[10] What an awesome promise! Surely this is what I, and everyone else God has created, was born for! As I read about God’s blessed hope for all of mankind who, in the end, choose to obey him, I cannot help but shiver in anticipation: “…and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage each other with these words (italics mine).”[11] How I long for this time! How I long to be reunited with my parents and with the rest of my family, and to see the world worship and praise God! And how I long to dwell in the house of the Lord forever! But while I live on this earth, I must learn to encourage others with this hope that God has given me.

Should anyone come up to me now and ask me what my purpose in this life is, I will no longer be afraid. I will no longer hesitate and look around me for the answers, nor will I pretend to be witty, and flip through the pages of an invisible Bible. This is no longer about my pride. I can no longer deny God’s grace in my life and the wonderful things he has done for me. I am still on a journey of faith with the Lord, and I know he will continue to reveal his purposes for me as I grow in his truth and love. But for now, God’s purposes for me – to worship and praise him, to share his love and gospel to the world through the power of his Holy Spirit, and to dwell with him forever – will give me the boldness to speak, coupled with the humility to acknowledge His powerful work in and through me. This is my prayer. This is my purpose.

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[1] I John 4:18, NIV

[2] Proverbs 14:12, NIV

[3] Hebrews 11:40, NIV

[4] Galatians 2:20, NIV

[5] I Timothy 6:6, NIV

[6] 2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV

[7] Matthew 28: 19-20, NIV

[8] 1 Corinthians 15:54, NIV

[9] 1 Corinthians 15:57, NIV

[10] Matthew 28:20, NIV

[11] 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18, NIV

When God Defines Your Success

One of the greatest needs of mankind is to achieve. Whether it is material wealth, fame, peace, prosperity or a sense of self, we all feel the need inside to accomplish something that is of some worth to us and even to others. We plan and prepare to accomplish our goals from the moment we step out of high school or college to the time we reach retirement. And each time we achieve a goal, we feel successful and accomplished, ready to tackle the next one.

But what if, somewhere along our highway of goals, we encounter a divine roadblock? Often times this roadblock comes without warning and appears every so often in our journey. When God steps into our lives and begins to steer us along His path, do we readily follow? When God begins to reveal to us His master plan for our lives, do we willingly submit or do we insist on our own plans?

What happens when we let God define our success?

I have had to struggle with these questions for many years. Society has conditioned my mind into believing that real success is all about getting the best education, the highest grades, the most prestigious job, and all the perks that come with it, including a hefty savings account and insurance. While these are all good, they are not what define real success in God’s eyes.

To be sure, I looked into God’s blueprint for success – the Bible – and found only 3 passages (there may be more that I might have overlooked) that use the word “successful”. They are Joshua 1:7, 2 Kings 18:7 and 2 Chronicles 20:20. All three passages speak of God’s servants who obeyed His commands and had faith in Him. These were God’s prerequisites for success! And what is success? “And the Lord was with him; he was successful in whatever he undertook.” (2 Kings 18:7 – first part; italics mine)

Knowing for sure that God does not define my success the way I used to and other people do gives me much relief and comfort. To have the Lord with me in all my undertakings already ensures my success! To have Jesus Christ in my life, to know Him, obey Him and trust in Him makes me a successful person. To live a life of active faith despite the struggles and heartaches that befall me along the way pleases the Almighty (Heb. 11:6). Can there be anything more rewarding in this life than pleasing our God? Can we be any more successful?

God gives us all the opportunity to be successful in this life. But we also need to realize that we cannot and should not hold on to our own plans for success as if our lives depended on them. God knows our hearts and if we willingly surrender all our goals and plans for our lives to Him, He will guide our every step so that His eternal goals and plans are accomplished in us. Now that is real success!

In the words of King David, “Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” (Ps. 40:5)