Going Back To Childlike Playfulness

Beach 3Yes, that’s me in my “professional” frisbee-catching” pose. Of course, there’s a nice trick to this.

Anyway, this awesome photo was taken again by my husband. You can see more of his photos in his Instagram account. This particular photo was from our October 2017 visit in Bagasbas, Daet.

Every time I see water, especially the beach, I go bananas! I feel like a “fish out of water”, so I need to get into the water – ASAP! My childlike playfulness button is pressed and I feel the freedom and carefree disposition of a child at play.

At 48, I still enjoy my childhood game of frisbee. I used to be so good at it when I was in my early teens, that I unintentionally drove away my guy playmates in our neighborhood. Were they threatened by a girl? So, I ended up having to wait many years later – around 20 years later – to be able to find someone to play frisbee with — my hubby.

I now suffer from an “unstable lumbar” and a mis-aligned spine plate somewhere, after a bad fall from the skateboard (which I was also very good at in my tweens), also last October, in the same place, a day later. So, goodbye high jumps — sigh.

So while we all can, while our health permits, let us rekindle our childlikeness. We have everything to gain from this as we leave our worries behind for just a moment, and experience “true reality” – the reality that restores our heart and soul.

I believe it’s time to play again. See you again in my next blog!

 

 

 

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Skin Diary

Tattoo

I finally got my first tattoo last year, at 48 years old. Another item to tick off my bucket list.

I tagged my husband and sister along on this adventure, in one of the best tattoo shops in KL https://www.borneoink.com, which also happened to be within walking distance from her work place – very convenient!

After years of imagining and planning for it (I saved many designs from the web), I decided on this simple heart with “family” written inside. It’s a very common design, but the significance is deep. Family, my immediate family, is my life and inspiration.

The love we have for each other is etched deep in my heart, and now, in my skin. Just like a diary, whenever I look at this tiny tattoo on my arm, I will always remember that day – the excitement, the intimacy of having my husband and sister watching as I smiled through the whole painless (a 2 out of 10 for me — high tolerance for pain) process. It was an adventure we shared as a family.

So this is my first entry in my Skin Diary. I hope to add many more.

Photo credit – https://www.instagram.com/rsmdoftherock/” Rex S. Dela Peña (my husband and photography enthusiast)

When It’s Time For A Life Change

Beach Life 2I don’t know. Has it been years since my last post?

Life happened. Past interests and passions faded into the background, replaced by the mundane task called “work”. Or should I say, “earning a living”.

Day in and day out, cleaning the house, washing dishes, feeding and caring for the dogs, washing and folding laundry, watching TV to ease the fatigue, and watching TV again.

I stopped playing my acoustic guitar, electric guitar and ukulele. I feel the pressure, reluctantly glancing at each instrument, feeling guilty for totally ignoring them. “Nope, I don’t see them”, I always tell myself.

And then there’s the blank canvas, still wrapped, sitting on a chair, waiting to be slathered on with oils. Oh, and my paint brushes are brand spanking new while my box of oil paints remains untouched. Guilt assails me once again.

This blog site sat unopened for years, it seems.

Where has my life gone? I mean, really LIVING! My work and daily chores became my life. Maybe for a while it worked out. It kept my place relatively neat and clean (I did say “relatively”), placed food on the table, paid the bills, and bought me a few extras to enjoy like a property investment and a car — though both are still on installment and eat up whatever remains in my bank account.

I had to keep asking myself: Is this all there is?

There are more than enough articles on this — some too generalized for me or lifted from another article to even take seriously. It IS different for everyone.

Change, and the reason for it, is different for everyone.

It’s time to head to the beach — literally.

It’s time to get real with myself. I need to be able to regain what’s left of my sanity and learn to really live again. I am nearing another critical juncture — middle age.

What makes me happy? What relieves me of stress? What CAUSES my stress in the first place? I’m talking about over-the-top stress levels – toxic people, negativism, pessimism.

I’m talking about beating myself up from guilt of not going for the things that give me peace and fulfillment. I’m talking about always beating myself up for suffering from mental disorders and not “accomplishing” enough. What is “enough”? It’s never enough.

So, it’s time to hit the beach.

I have always loved being in the water. I enjoy feeling the grainy sand under my worn out feet. It is like a foot scrub and massage at the same time. The warm breeze blowing from the Pacific Ocean calms my spirit and helps me to breathe in and breathe out in a rhythmic motion. Peace.

I will be there soon. My family will be with me soon.

It is time for change. It is time for my life change.

 

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